One of the most important topics in the therapeutic process, and in life, in general, for me is the topic of experts and expert opinions. Very often people who come to therapy expect clear instructions from the therapist, guarantees, and of course, that therapy will definitely help them gain a better understanding of their lives.
We so often allow others to be experts of our lives that we no longer notice we have lost control over it. We go to a mental health practitioner in the hope of getting answers to the questions such as: “What should I do?”, “How should this be?” or “how should I be?”. These powerful questions are very useful. But no one except us can answer them.
Of course, there exist experts who can provide great advice. Sometimes they work, sometimes they do not. Often, they work temporarily. There are complex situations we find ourselves in life that push us to seek an expert opinion. But only we, ourselves, can be the experts in our own lives.
How do we proceed? What path should I take? What does this person mean to me specifically? Only we are responsible and can answer these questions. Undoubtedly, at first glance, it is easier to have a number of experts making decisions for us. Then the mistakes in our lives are not our mistakes… But that also means our success is no longer just ‘our’ success. And our lives are not really ours. Why then would one seek professional help from a therapist if they cannot offer their expertise on my life?
A psychotherapist/counsellor is an expert in their field guided by professional techniques and knowledge, specialised to help clients find themselves and equip them with the ability to answer important questions. The therapist advocates professional assistance, accompanying secrets and often entering into the sacred inner world of the client. The therapist does not and cannot know the answers that the client seeks. The therapist is an expert in their professional field but not on people’s lives. And if they represent themselves as such – you should look for another specialist.
Olga Koronovskaia
